This morning, we'll wrap up our messaged on "A Parent's Sacred Trust" by talking through the lessons we have learned in our 23+ years of parenting. In that vein, I'd like to share with you one principle of parenting you must never forget. It's the principle of perseverance.
One of the characteristics of successful parents is their ability to stay at it, never quit, keep on keeping on. Endurance, persistence, diligence, determination, perseverance. It's the ability to stick to something. Vince Lombardi once said, "Press on because nothing can take the place of persistence."
When you look at successful parents you discover that they're really just ordinary people with an extraordinary amount of determination. They simply don't know how to quit. Like the old statement you heard in school when you were a kid: Quitters never win and winners never quit.
So let me ask you today - Do you finish things that you start? Usually - Always - Sometimes - Never. Do you find it easy to get discouraged? Would people say that you had the ability to hang in there? If you were to review your life what is it that you wish you had never given up on? I wish I had never given up on .... school? music lessons? that promising career? a relationship? your kids?
There is a tremendous cost in quitting. At the moment it seems the thing to do when you're discouraged but there is a tremendous cost in giving up.
In a race there is always a tremendous crowd at the start. But as the race goes on, the crowd thins out. It's not so important how you start the race of life, but how you finish up that counts. It doesn't matter where you've been, what matters is where you're going to end up.
Paul was a person of incredible endurance and determination and persistence. Twice in 2 Corinthians 4, he says "we do not lose heart... I don't give up." He kept on keeping on no matter what happened. He said, “I don't lose heart. I will not quit”.
2 Corinthians 4:8-9 "We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." Paul uses four terms to describe the circumstances.
He says "I'm hard pressed on every side, but not crushed." I get pressure from every angle. I'm like the quarter back under the blitz. Every body's coming at me, but I'm not crushed.
"I'm perplexed but not in despair." I don't know what it's happening but I keep on going even though I don't understand everything that's happening in my life. Perplexed -- the Greek word there literally means stretched to the limit without breaking like a rubber band is stretched. He says, “I'm stretched to the limit but I don't snap.”
"I'm persecuted" -- the Greek there means I'm hunted, hounded, "but I'm not abandoned by God".
"I'm struck down but not destroyed" -- I'm like a boxer -- I get knocked down but I'm never knocked out.
Paul's lifestyle shows great resilience. That's enough to make anybody want to quit! Yet he says "I don't give up". Paul says, "Sometimes I've been in circumstances that are absolutely hopeless and the situation was impossible." What did he do in those hopeless and impossible situations? He said, "I simply kept on keeping on."
What was Paul's secret? What motivated him to keep going? That's what we want to look at today. We have an autobiography of Paul and he gives us seven secrets of staying power. If you want to last in life, if you want to make it, you need these seven things.
Some of you are real discouraged this morning. Some of you are ready to quit. Paul said there were seven things that motivated him to keep on keeping on and doing what he knew was right and make sure that he was going to finish the race.
1. REMEMBER GOD LOVES ME
Never forget that. v. 1 "Since therefore, through God's mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart." Notice the word "mercy". He said, “God has mercy for me, He loves me!” How does that help me be persistent? Because it means that when I'm going through tough times I know that God sees everything I'm going through, He cares about everything I'm going through, He's going through it with me, He promises to help if I ask Him. So I'm able to endure because He is committed to enduring with me. I never forget, that no matter what the circumstance, God loves me! That's an encourager.
1 Corinthians 15:10 says, "By the grace of God I am what I am". There's a couple of benefits of grace.
1) I don't have to prove my own worth because I've already got it. I've already been accepted. A workaholic is somebody who is trying to prove their worth by their work. I'm going to prove it to myself, my parents, my brother/sibling/former wife/children. I'm going to prove that I'm worthwhile, so I'll work myself to death! And you run yourself into the ground. When you have grace and understand it, you know that God's already accepted you.
2) Grace gives you the power to start over when you fail. And you're going to fail in life! You will make mistakes. You will stumble. You will fall. Grace gives you the ability to get up and start over again. That's what persistence is all about.
2. I MAINTAIN A CLEAR CONSCIENCE
v. 2 "Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways. We do not use deception, nor do we distort the Word of God. We commend ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God." Paul said, “I'm transparent. I don't have anything to hide. I don't deceive anybody. I don't distort the Word of God. I'm honest and up front. I'm a person of integrity.”
If you want to last, you've got to have integrity. We've had national ministries that have collapsed because they've lacked integrity. The Bible says that those who have a guilty conscience make a shipwreck of their faith. The man of God who has integrity walks securely.
Maintain a clear conscience. Guilt saps your strength. It robs you of energy. In order to last, in order to make it in life you've got to say, "What you see is what you get. I'm not hiding anything." Maintain a clear conscience. It's tough to lead your family when you constantly feel like a hypocrite for engaging in some secret sin.
3. HAVE THE RIGHT MOTIVATION
In order to have staying power I must have the right motivation. The question is: Why do you do what you do? You need to answer that question because the “why”often determines the “how long.” A lot of people do what they do because of ego. Ego will get you a long way in this world but it wears out real quick. It doesn't last over the long haul. If you're going to last you've got to have more of a motivation for what you do in life than simply your ego.
What was Paul's motivation? v. 5 "For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake." He says the same phrase in v. 11. If you asked Paul, "Why do you do what you do?" In 1 Cor. 11 he says, "Five times I received from the Jews forty lashes minus one, three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, I spent a day and a night in the open sea, I've been in constant danger, without food, without sleep -- thirst, hunger, food, cold. Besides this I've faced the daily pressures of concern for all the churches."
He says that it's been a tough life. But why did he travel everywhere? He says, “I did it for Jesus' sake.” Why did he put up with cold and suffering? "I did it for Jesus' sake." Why did you put up with discomfort when you could have given up and gone home and retired? "I did it for Jesus’ sake." Why did you keep on keeping on, and you never gave up? "I did it for Jesus' sake."
That's the motivation that will take you through to the end of life. Have the right motivation.
(Story of MBC) Lon Solomon –“When the church was much smaller, Bob Keys was in charge of the take down of the church and all of the facilities. We had a truck we were putting things in. After about six months, he was complaining to himself that no one was helping, everybody was going home after the service. He said God kind of tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Who are you doing this for anyway?" Bob said, "I'm doing it for You, Lord!" God said, "Then don't worry if anybody else helps. Don't worry about the praise and applause right now because I reward everything eventually." The Bible says if you give a cup of cold water in His name, you'll be rewarded.”
Colossians 3:23 says "Whatever you do, do it heartily as unto the Lord and not as unto men." If you wash dishes, do in unto the Lord. If you clean the house, do it unto the Lord. If you mow the lawn, do it as unto the Lord. Whatever you do. Homework? Do it as unto the Lord. That will give you motivation. Whatever you've got to do, do it as unto the Lord. Have the proper motivation.
Why do you do what you do? Paul says, "I do it for Jesus' sake. I've got a motivation beyond myself. If I'm going to have staying power I remember God loves me, and I maintain a clear conscience, and I have the right motivation.” Would it be nice if your kids thanked you periodically? Yes - no doubt. But that can;t be your motivation. You need a higher motivation.
4. I MUST ACCEPT MY LIMITATIONS
The quickest way to burn out is to try to be superman. In order to last you've got to recognize that you're not God! You have weaknesses and failings and faults. v. 7 "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show the all surpassing power is from God and not ourselves." Jars of clay. What's he talking about? He's talking about our frail bodies. Paul said, “I've got the greatest message in the world, but I've got it in a crummy package.” My body is kind of a clay pot. It has weaknesses and may even be a little cracked. Clay pots are fragile and will break easily if they're not handled right. They are not immune to pressure and neither are you. You've got to recognize your limitations.
One of the ways you recognize your limitations is to learn to pace yourself. Rome was not built in a day and life is not one long race. It's a number of short races with rests in between. Learn to pace yourself. Don't try to do it all at once. We've got limitations in our life. None of us can give 100%, 100% of the time. Each one of us are made differently. Everybody in life is either a turtle or a race horse. Adjust your schedule accordingly. We all are different so don't try to copy other people. Paul says, “Don't deny your weakness, accept it.” God's power is shown through you.
At the end of the first year at Mclean Bible Church, I just burned out We went from 5 kids to 300 in year one. I ran out of energy, steam. God gave me a verse for the second year of youth ministry that has meant a lot to me. Exodus 23:29-30 "God said to Joshua, `When you come to the promised land, I'm not going to give it to you all at once. But I'm going to drive out the giants little by little so you can handle it."
If I drove them out all at once it would be too much territory to occupy at once. Weeds would grow and you wouldn't be able to handle it. So I'm going to drive them out little by little. That is called pacing growth. You learn to pace yourself. God takes you so far and then you grow. Then He takes you another step and you grow. And so on. You learn to pace yourself. In your parenting, pace yourselves. Most of try to do much in one month and not enough in 2-3 years.
5. I MUST LOVE OTHER PEOPLE
v. 15 "All this is for your benefit, so that the grace of God that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God." Circle "for your benefit". Paul says, “The reason I keep on is because I know what I'm doing is helping other people.” If you don't love people you're never going to last. The Bible says, "If I have not love I am as sounding brass and tinkling cymbal." The Scripture says, "Love endures all things." If you stop loving you're going to give up. If you stop loving in your marriage, as a parent, your career -- you're going to give up. When you stop loving you stop trying, Love is the motivating factor in life. Paul says, “The love of Christ compels us.”
I think this verse applies to COV. He says we're doing this for your benefit. It's reaching more and more people. One of the reasons we've put up with all the inconveniences at COV is because we know that people need the Lord. As long as there's somebody in this valley who doesn't know Jesus we have to reach out to them. We have to keep growing. As long as somebody is going to hell then we have a responsibility. Paul says, “I do it because I love people.”
If you want energy to keep going, fill your life with love. The more loving you are the more energy you'll have to keep on keeping on.
6. I MUST TAKE TIME TO RECHARGE
v. 16 "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." It's a fact that we are all outwardly wasting away. We're getting wrinkles, aches and pains, bifocals, baldness, bulges. What was once a shape is now a bulge. We're wasting away externally.
How to know when you're growing older:
You feel like the night before but you haven't been anywhere.
When you know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
When you look forward to a dull evening.
When you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
When your knees buckle and your belt doesn't.
When your back goes out more than you do.
When your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you watch a pretty girl walk by.
When you sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
We're all wasting away outside. Neither you nor I can stop the aging process. “But,” Paul says, “you can stay fresh on the inside.” He says, "Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day." Paul renewed himself daily. He recharged himself every 24 hours. If you're going to make it you've got to learn how to recharge yourself, how to renew yourself, how to cultivate internal renewal.
My question is: What do you do to renew yourself? Do you have a plan of personal renewal? Or is it shear luck if you happen to get renewed. Is it haphazard? You ought to know what renews you and you ought to schedule it into your life if you want to last and not burn out.
I know the things that renew me. What about you? Prayer renews me. Reading the Bible renews me. Being quiet. Taking a walk. Spending time with Sharon. Playing golf. Going to the ocean. Staying at a nice hotel. Listening to worship music. That's renewing to me.
You need to know those things. The Bible says, "They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, run and not be weary, walk and not faint." The Bible says in Psalm 119:50 "Your promises renew me." Get a promise of God and claim it. Hold on to it.
If you're going to last you've got to make time for renewal in your life. That's one of the benefits of these small groups. They provide a renewal in the middle of the week. Renew your life. Parenting is hard work - you need times od restoration.
7. I MUST KEEP MY EYES ON THE GOAL
Paul's last secret deals with how to handle problems. v. 17-18 "For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs the all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."
You cannot develop persistence in your life without problems. There is no such thing as persistence without problems. If you don't have problems you don't need persistence. The way you develop persistence is in problems. That's what James 1:12 says. Problems produce persistence. That's what Romans 5:3-8 says. Problems produce persistence
Problems are inevitable. They're a part of life. Jesus said, "In the world you will have tribulation." Life is tough. Life is a struggle a lot of the time. But the problem with problems is not the problem. The problems with problems is that they tend to cloud our perspective, our vision. We lose sight of our goal, our dream. We get our eyes on the problem and forget the whole ball game. We forget the overall picture.
Paul says, "These light and momentary troubles..." beaten five times, shipwrecked, imprisoned, sick, thrown out of cities, stoned -- then he says, "light and momentary troubles..." that's an understatement. How could he say all those things were light and momentary troubles? It's a matter of how you look at it. It's a matter of perspective. Paul's saying that the key to persistence is perspective. Have a big view. Take the long look. Look beyond the problem and see God's purpose behind the problem. The key to keeping on is to have persistence. He says, we look at the eternal glory, we fix our eyes not on what is seen but on what is unseen.
Motivational experts say there are two kinds of motivation. There is internal motivation and there is external motivation. Internal motivation is much more effective than external motivation. But Paul says the most powerful form of motivation, the thing that keeps you keeping on when everything is falling apart, when everything is going the wrong way, when nothing looks good, the thing that keeps you keeping on is not internal motivation and not external motivation, but the most powerful motivation is eternal motivation. We look at the long haul. We look at the bottom line, what's going to happen.
What is it that motivates you to keep going? In your career? To be faithful to your spouse? To stick in your marriage? Paul says if I focus on all my problems I am overwhelmed. What motivates you to keep on being a parent? To go to school? Paul says if I focus on my problems I'm overwhelmed but if I look in the light of eternity, they're insignificant.
Paul says, “You want to know how I have staying power, how I'm able to be hard pressed but not crushed, perplexed but not in despair, persecuted but not abandoned, struck down but not struck out.” This is his secret: I remember God loves me. I maintain a clear conscience. I have the right motivation. I accept my limitations. I love other people. I make time to recharge my life. I keep my eye on the goal.
He says I do these seven things and I'm not going to quit! There's a promise he gives in Galatians 6:9 "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Character comes by not quitting.
Personally, this is a valued characteristic to me. I really value tenacity. It is one of the secrets of doing something with your life. Keeping on keeping on!
What quitting point are you at? Some of you really feel like giving up. What are you tempted to give up on? You career? "It's just not working." Your marriage? "We've had the same problems for fifteen years!" Get some help! Some people spend $5000 on a wedding but they won't spend $500 to save the marriage! Some people are tempted to give up on their health. Maybe on your children. Maybe school. What is your quitting point? Quitting points are made of paper. You've got to push through them. That's what persistence is all about. Break through them and get your second wind. Regroup. Recharge.
I happen to believe God brought some of you here just so He can say one thing to you: Don't quit! Don't give up! The cost of quitting is enormous. And, if you're a parent, who pays that cost? Your kids.
There may be some of you here that are so discouraged and you are so down that you thought about taking your life in the last week, month or months. God would say to you: God's purpose is greater than the problems you are facing right now. Don't give up. Don't quit.
Don't give up, give in. Give in to Jesus Christ. Schuller says "Tough times never last; tough people do." That's true. You're thinking, "I have wasted so much of my life. I have blown so much time and energy, what's the use in starting over? What's the use in trying?"
Folks, the most meaningless statistic in football is the half-time score. Who cares? As you know and I know anything could happen in the last two quarters. Things can turn around! And they often do! Don't look at where you've been; look at where you're going. The issue is not how you started in life, the issue is are you going to finish the rest. Don't give up!
I love you guys. Stay faithful. Stay the course. Endure. Never Quit!
March 7: James 1:2-4 - What does persevering accomplish in our lives?
March 8: 2 Corinthians 4:1 - Why do we not lose heart?
March 9: Proverbs 10:9 - What is the truth here? How does it apply to your kids?
March 10: Ephesians 3:20 - What is the promise in this verse?
March 11: 2 Corinthians 4:16 - What's the key to perseverence here?
March 12: 2 Corinthians 4:17-18 - What is the ultimate motivation to perevere?
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